ITFC signing #1

Confirmation that Tommy Smith has agreed to stay at Portman Road until 2016 #ITFC instagram.com/p/Zp14QLEZsB/
— Ipswich Town FC (@Official_ITFC) May 23, 2013

Poetry anthology is coming along nicely

Hopefully, if everything goes to plan, I'll have a couple more quotes for printing services for the yet unpublished dedication to James, The Poet-Tree: Digging for the Truth. It is an anthology showcasing all our poetry talents, and it seems fitting to publish it now, a year on from the sad departure of our friend James.

It was supposed to be published last year, but as I was the sole contributor and chief editor, things got put on-hold while I got my life sorted out again.

Now, if my university still wants to contribute financially towards the publication, then I will gladly go to the printers and order about 200 copies. If not, then I have considered the possibility of selling it online as an e-book. We shall have to wait and see...

I am an unknown conscious being in the present, recovering from a life lost in the past...

Courage is not something I've had for the past year, and it's only now that I'm starting to feel better. Only now am I re-discovering my Inner Smile, and every day is like a rollercoaster. There was one girl who I must thank for lifting me off my feet, if only for a short while...


Thing is, it didn't last long as I was not ready for a whole bunch of new emotions, on top of losing my grandma, who was like a 2nd mother to me. I haven't embarked on any serious relationships since then.

I don't often 'hate' anything. In fact, I'm hardly offended by anything. I've been called so many names by so many bullies, I don't think there's any more words left in the Oxford English Dictionary that people could use against me. But silence seems to be the new form of bullying, or that's the treatment I've been getting anyway. Maybe its because I pushed people away last year, but still, I feel like I can't talk anymore to my classmates. I'm at the bottom of the pile again, back at square one, waiting for the opportunity...

The day after my grandma's funeral, one of my best mates died. Unfortunately, since then, whenever I've been in conversation, the hurt and the sadness that I have felt for my grandma doesn't seem to matter? For the last year there has been a gaping hole in my life where she once was... but apparently I'm missing the point?

Maybe it has something to do with me not showing up at the funeral for our mate, but I remember on that morning I was dressed up in my suit, shoes polished and gleaming, and I got to the door... but I just couldn't go. I felt light-headed. I was still recovering from my grandma's death. I had 3 essays due in the following week. And I had to deal with a mate's death as well.

I'm sorry if I've hurt anyone. If I led you on, then I'm sorry for that.

Erm, forgive and forget?

Perspectives

'What I am' is a question that everyone should stop and ask themselves once in a while. Literally, drop everything (as long as it's not a baby you're holding) and observe your life. What is it about your life which seems to follow you in the form of shadows? Is it a feeling, or is it a person?

Having sat through three or four Autobiography lectures on Virginia Woolf (her 'Moments of Being'), I have to look at my life and wonder whether it's worth living? My life is a jumbled-up mess of ups and downs. There seems to be no correlation from one week to the next. One week I'm happy, the next I'm sad.

Something that's just happened, and the main reason for my blog transforming from work-exhibition into a personal thoughts showcase, is the one-year anniversary of my grandma's death. It was on 19 April 2012 that she left this life and embarked on another, and sometimes I sort of know that she's in the room with me, that she's always there whenever I need her... in my heart.

CK.

Scriptwriting: 'Shadows Lurk' (My Script)

Recently I was writing a script as part of my essay, and went to an arts lecture where a writer came in to talk about islands as prisons. I left the lecture feeling inspired by one of his stories, which led me to write a back-story for the script of a Film Noir thriller, including a murder and a string of conspiracies that leads the detective to a harrowing truth.

Not only did I end up writing a script that I was happy with, but I had the chance to speak to a real author about storylines and plot directions, which in itself made me a better writer. His advice led me away from many of the amateurish mistakes I could have made, such as over-complicating the plot. I also had the chance to speak with a local theatre company regarding my script, and learnt about the responsibility of the playwright to the actors, and vice versa. Without taking on board the advice from the author, the theatre, and most importantly my lecturer, and then redrafting my script, I probably would have made a huge error that would have resulted in a fail.

IP1zine- poetry review

Just had the most exciting news of my life so far: after posting one of my poems online at IP1zine.com, a local Ipswich arts magazine, the editors have been in contact with me to ask if I'd be okay with a review of my poem 'My Pen Is My Guardian'. I didn't hesistate and said yes, although I did check their website to match their names to the names in the email as a safeguard and to check the authenticity of the email (which appeared in my inbox in basic font 'Courier New').

UPDATE: I picked up a copy of the latest issue today; the review of my poem is on page 33. Here is a link to download a free PDF version of the same issue:
http://ip1zine.com/magazine/issue/issue-44
http://ip1zine.com/files/magazine/ip1_issue44.pdf

and here is a link to the original poem, just so you can read it too! If you want to comment on it, use either the comments box below or the comments box on the webpage:
http://ip1zine.com/showoff/media/6701

Professional Writing Practice: NWT placement agreed

I had a chat with Andrew Clarke of the E.A.D.T. but sadly it seems, and due mainly to the recent economic disasters of late, the newspaper may not be able to offer me a placement. Never mind...

UPDATE: However, thanks to my father who has been working/volunteering at the New Wolsey Theatre for the past few years, I now have a placement at the New Wolsey Theatre. My 'contact' is the same person who oversaw my progress over the reviews on the theatre's plays. She is very welcoming and wants to help me in any way she and the theatre can, as I have left a good impression on her as an enthusiastic theatre-goer.

Hopefully, once all the paperwork has been done, and details agreed, I'll be able to start work at my placement in January 2013, shortly after Christmas 2012 and also after a couple of essay deadlines...