I was thinking recently, what job I'd like to do - not just for the short term, but for life. I've been applying for a few copywriting jobs in London, hoping that I can turn one of my passions into a career.
Since the age of 11 or 12, I've enjoyed writing fiction. I used to write about the things that aren't real in my life, that I wish were real. Now, I write blogs, and stories, and poems, and basically anything... because it makes me feel good about myself.
The story content may have changed and developed and become more detailed, but the writer is the same person. Peel back the layers, and the memories, the failed friendships, a failed relationship, and focus on the genuine joy I get from putting pen to paper, and I'm still the same person.
On these blogs, I have no face, next to no identity, and, thankfully, the peace of mind that I can write my thoughts, and feelings, and musings, without the fear that someone close to me is going to notice, or take offence.
I enjoy writing, but apart from my blogs, most of my writing has never seen another pair of eyes.
Mostly, because I've never wanted to be that open about myself.
I'd love for someone to read my work at some point, but maybe not. I'm not scared of criticism, but I also remember how people treated me years ago, how they bullied me, and how everything I did was rubbish, and crap, and pointless.
If I opened up my stories to others, even my parents and closest friends, I fear that would give people an excuse, and all the ammunition they would ever need, to shoot me down again.
