Transitions

My 25th Birthday came and went. I enjoyed the day, but turning 25 was not as elatious as I had expected it to be.

To be honest, for the past year, I've thought I was already 25. I felt like I was 25. Every time someone would ask how old I was, I had to stop and think about it, before admitting that I was a mere 24 years old.

And so I've started to wonder. I wonder if my life was better 5 Years ago, and whether my shadows are ever going to catch up with me. They probably will, it's just a matter of when.

Todat I've been reading into my blog title. I know that may make me sound a bit self-conscious, but I'm starting to wonder why I chose the name.

Shadows of my former self - I suppose I was drawing on the use of the name of the film noir I had helped to produce in A-level Media Studies, Shadows Present. But now that I think about it, was I trying to send myself a message? Shadows of my former self - was this a message from my present self to my future self?

I must first clarify that what I refer to as my present self is now, in fact, my past self; and that my future self is now my present self, which is one reason why I entitled this post Transitions.

I'm in a state of transitioning from being educated, to starting out in the world of work. Sure, I've had a couple of jobs in the past, but they were inextricably linked to my life as a university student. Now I'm a person, and I'm expected to just up and get a job. I'm back where I started when I graduated in October 2014 - looking for jobs and feeling helpless again.

I admire my enthusiasm from 6 or 7 years ago, evident in the slogan or sub-title of this blog - “Shadows appear where the light cannot reach, only visible to the observant, all-seeing Eye.”

Exactly what was it that I was trying to say? That your Shadows will always follow you around until you learn to accept they're there and turn around to confront your past? Pretty much.

But that meaning seems all but meaningless now...