“...after about five minutes of sitting in my room watching my Dad's car turn the corner and travel down the road out of sight, my sadness is replaced by the eagerness to 'be a student'. I decided to open my door and introduce myself again to my fellow flatmates, and find that just talking to them eases my insecurities about living on my own with strange new faces. I have only been here for an hour, I haven't even had any lectures or seminars, and yet already I feel like a 'proper' student.”
Student at the Centre of the Universe - where did that person go? That person who was so full of confidence, so full of life; so young, inexperienced and immature, and yet so kind and fun at the same time?
“We have to remember that sometimes what we refer to as 'fate' can shape our futures and determine us as a person. It is therefore possible... that some things in our lives are meant to happen... and for the better.”
Where did this person go? The person who was so spirited and thoughtful? The person who was so excited about life that he didn't care what other people thought?
I don't like that he's right, but he is! Never have any words been truer than, “what we refer to as 'fate' can shape our futures and determine us as a person.”
I feel awful. I'm starting to regret who I've turned into. That kind spirited person has gone, and what's left is an empty shell of what I look like from the outside. I'm still the same ugly person as I always was, but now I've lost my personality. I'm dead.
Those words, those blog posts... they feel like a decade ago, and yet it's only really half that - 6 years.
Six years since I started university.
Six years since I first left home.
Six years since I became someone.
And yet, now, I feel like another nobody.
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